Today morning as I got down from the bus and walked towards my school I felt this overwhelming sense of belonging and freedom. I felt like a child walking gleefully free in a huge palace with the joy and abandon of knowing that the palace belonged to my father. I realized then that indeed this was the case. My wonderful source , my creator, my sustainer, my beloved is like a father.....(in fact my source is even more than a father, mother, teacher, friend, lover and child all rolled into one....), and this entire world belongs to my source, is the essence of my source, and so it must have been only so natural for me to have felt such gleeful abandon and joy to strut around the streets and creations of this universe. The angels hovering around me confirmed this understanding of the wonderful feeling I experienced, and even as I type this the residue of that gleeful abandon still lingers in my experience of being me....:-) ...
much love to you dear reader... and have a great day.....:-)
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Sunday, 16 May 2010
I give myself the permission to....
On saturday night I welcomed Angels into my house, and I asked for their help in certain areas of my life. As I meditated on these areas, I was guided intuitively through a series of affirmations to make to myself. What surprised me about these affirmations was that they all started with the words, 'I give myself the permission to.......'. For example one of the areas I had asked for help was regarding the healing of a certain close relationship which had been giving me a lot of pain. In relevance to this relationship, I was guided to make affirmations like, 'I give myself the permission to be happy', 'I give myself the permission to have a successful ,' I give myself the permission to be a good . As I made and meditated on these affirmations I sensed quite some heavy energy in myself that was loosening up as a result. I also became aware of the strength of the resistance I was holding in my energy body and mind about allowing myself to 'be happy', 'have a good relationship' etc. I was quite surprised because I thought it was obvious that I had been wanting this for a long time which is precisely why I was unhappy at not having a good relationship, but my energy awareness during these affirmations indicated quite the opposite. I was holding a belief within me that I was not entitled to 'be happy', 'have a good relationship, etc.
As I kept up with mentally repeating the affirmations I was being intuited to, the focus went from more obvious to less obvious resistances I was holding within me. For example, after a while I found myself affirming statements like,'I give myself the permission to be nice', 'I give myself the permission to be kind', 'I give myself the permission to be generous', 'I give myself the permission to be caring', 'I give myself the permission to be selfless', 'I give myself the permission to be helpful', 'I give myself the permission to be sweet', etc. While repeating these latter forms of affirmations, although I was aware of the relevance of these statements in the particular context of the painful relationship I had initially asked for help on, I was simultaneously aware of the more generic thread of resistance related to each of these good qualities that I was holding with me. It almost seems weird that in crafting my self-identity, I had denied myself the permission to be nice, kind, selfless, generous or sweet. Yet, that is the reality of the programmed belief that I became aware of as I began to sense its presence in my energy body. Some of these patterns were more strong, and some relatively weak, but yes I had to consciously GIVE myself permission to BE NICE, KIND, GENEROUS, HELPFUL, SWEET etc. It was a very moving and tender experience for me. As I went deeper and deeper into the affirmations I felt more and more upbeat and joyful and excited about what was happening. I also felt more I felt more vulnerable and open and exposed but not in a bad way. I felt the gleefully liberating freedom of allowing myself to indulge in something, that I had been prevented from doing for a long time. I felt like a man who had never cried because it was supposed to be unmanly, might have felt when he finally let himself cry.
As I went through the awareness of the feelings associated with each of these many restrictions I had placed on myself I could sometimes also sense simultaneously the sources associated with some of these restrictions. Some of them were related to fears associated with being taken advantage of, some were directly associated with statements I had heard from various grownups when I was a child, and some were associated with strongly judgmental views that I had held or expressed in my past about other people who had embodied these particular qualities. As I consciously gave myself the permission to be 'nice', 'generous', 'sweet', etc. I had to also forgiving myself and all the concerned people in the past who had contributed to creating these restrictions in my identity regarding embodying and displaying these qualities. I had to forgive myself for labeling and judging others who had been 'too nice', 'too selfless', and 'too happy',........and for having criticized such people in the past.
On the whole it was an extremely liberating and uplifting exercise and it made me see how much there was which I myself could give myself to facilitate the healing of this relationship that was giving me pain. I was amazed that al of these affirmations were related to my own beliefs and none were really related to expectations of how the other concerned person should behave. After I came out of the meditation I continued to remember some of these affirmations every time a disturbing thought about the painful relationship came to my mind, and to the extent I managed to really mean the affirmation, I did experience relief from the pain of the situation. I have been trying to practice this 'niceness', 'sweetness', 'lovingness' etc., and it is a very interesting experience to feel the inner resistance towards letting these qualities surface in the context of the painful relationship. I am acutely aware of how much further I have to go in taking complete responsibility for my life experiences including this particular relationship, but I am also extremely grateful to have been made aware of just how much resistance I am myself harboring and how I have the power to give myself the permission to break down these resistances.
It is thursday now, and so it has been almost 5 days of giving myself permission to do the actions and receive the blessings associated with making my wishes and dreams come true. I can only say a big thank you this point to my angels for lovingly putting into my heads this new form of affirmation that i had not used before. It is just so so right for me at this point in time and indeed it with loving power that I now give myself the permission to be happy and cheerful, helpful and sweet, patient and compassionate, carefree and buoyant, several times each day. I give myself the permission to let go of the bottom of the riverbed and flow with the current downstream each time I find myself struggling trying to go upstream. I give myself the permission to stop, pause and take 3 deep breaths, every time i think i need to make that whining phone call to complain about what didn't go the way I thought it should. I give myself the permission to look to my source again and again, a million times if necessary to reconnect with that spark of divinity. I give myself the permission to know I'm divine and BE divine, and not believe in the sayings of those who have taught me to believe I'm helpless. I give myself the permission to break out of the roles i have typecast myself in, to break out of the pictures and portraits of myself that my family and friends and me have collectively painted of me. I give myself the permission to be whole and complete, fresh and divine, with each new breath I take. I give myself the permission to be happy irrespective of what emotion I think the others in my life will find most palatable for me to display!
I give myself the permission to be happy and free!
As I kept up with mentally repeating the affirmations I was being intuited to, the focus went from more obvious to less obvious resistances I was holding within me. For example, after a while I found myself affirming statements like,'I give myself the permission to be nice', 'I give myself the permission to be kind', 'I give myself the permission to be generous', 'I give myself the permission to be caring', 'I give myself the permission to be selfless', 'I give myself the permission to be helpful', 'I give myself the permission to be sweet', etc. While repeating these latter forms of affirmations, although I was aware of the relevance of these statements in the particular context of the painful relationship I had initially asked for help on, I was simultaneously aware of the more generic thread of resistance related to each of these good qualities that I was holding with me. It almost seems weird that in crafting my self-identity, I had denied myself the permission to be nice, kind, selfless, generous or sweet. Yet, that is the reality of the programmed belief that I became aware of as I began to sense its presence in my energy body. Some of these patterns were more strong, and some relatively weak, but yes I had to consciously GIVE myself permission to BE NICE, KIND, GENEROUS, HELPFUL, SWEET etc. It was a very moving and tender experience for me. As I went deeper and deeper into the affirmations I felt more and more upbeat and joyful and excited about what was happening. I also felt more I felt more vulnerable and open and exposed but not in a bad way. I felt the gleefully liberating freedom of allowing myself to indulge in something, that I had been prevented from doing for a long time. I felt like a man who had never cried because it was supposed to be unmanly, might have felt when he finally let himself cry.
As I went through the awareness of the feelings associated with each of these many restrictions I had placed on myself I could sometimes also sense simultaneously the sources associated with some of these restrictions. Some of them were related to fears associated with being taken advantage of, some were directly associated with statements I had heard from various grownups when I was a child, and some were associated with strongly judgmental views that I had held or expressed in my past about other people who had embodied these particular qualities. As I consciously gave myself the permission to be 'nice', 'generous', 'sweet', etc. I had to also forgiving myself and all the concerned people in the past who had contributed to creating these restrictions in my identity regarding embodying and displaying these qualities. I had to forgive myself for labeling and judging others who had been 'too nice', 'too selfless', and 'too happy',........and for having criticized such people in the past.
On the whole it was an extremely liberating and uplifting exercise and it made me see how much there was which I myself could give myself to facilitate the healing of this relationship that was giving me pain. I was amazed that al of these affirmations were related to my own beliefs and none were really related to expectations of how the other concerned person should behave. After I came out of the meditation I continued to remember some of these affirmations every time a disturbing thought about the painful relationship came to my mind, and to the extent I managed to really mean the affirmation, I did experience relief from the pain of the situation. I have been trying to practice this 'niceness', 'sweetness', 'lovingness' etc., and it is a very interesting experience to feel the inner resistance towards letting these qualities surface in the context of the painful relationship. I am acutely aware of how much further I have to go in taking complete responsibility for my life experiences including this particular relationship, but I am also extremely grateful to have been made aware of just how much resistance I am myself harboring and how I have the power to give myself the permission to break down these resistances.
It is thursday now, and so it has been almost 5 days of giving myself permission to do the actions and receive the blessings associated with making my wishes and dreams come true. I can only say a big thank you this point to my angels for lovingly putting into my heads this new form of affirmation that i had not used before. It is just so so right for me at this point in time and indeed it with loving power that I now give myself the permission to be happy and cheerful, helpful and sweet, patient and compassionate, carefree and buoyant, several times each day. I give myself the permission to let go of the bottom of the riverbed and flow with the current downstream each time I find myself struggling trying to go upstream. I give myself the permission to stop, pause and take 3 deep breaths, every time i think i need to make that whining phone call to complain about what didn't go the way I thought it should. I give myself the permission to look to my source again and again, a million times if necessary to reconnect with that spark of divinity. I give myself the permission to know I'm divine and BE divine, and not believe in the sayings of those who have taught me to believe I'm helpless. I give myself the permission to break out of the roles i have typecast myself in, to break out of the pictures and portraits of myself that my family and friends and me have collectively painted of me. I give myself the permission to be whole and complete, fresh and divine, with each new breath I take. I give myself the permission to be happy irrespective of what emotion I think the others in my life will find most palatable for me to display!
I give myself the permission to be happy and free!
Saturday, 15 May 2010
May all be happy...
Wow! today's been really full, and I havent really got to the computer at all. Now I need to rush again, but I do want to be consistent in posting and so just now, as I type, I am tuning into my source and allowing the lovely source energy to fill my being. I am practicing self kindness and love and I am affirming to myself in the presence of my source:
May I be Happy
May I be healthy
May I be Peaceful
May I be Free!
May my son be happy
May my son be healthy
May my son be peaceful
May my son be free
May my husband be happy
May my husband be healthy
May my husband be peaceful
May my husband be free
May whoever reads this post be happy
May whoever reads this post be healthy
May whoever reads this post be peaceful
May whoever reads this post be free
May All be happy
May All be healthy
May all be peaceful
May all be free.......
:-) With Love.......Have a great day today!
May I be Happy
May I be healthy
May I be Peaceful
May I be Free!
May my son be happy
May my son be healthy
May my son be peaceful
May my son be free
May my husband be happy
May my husband be healthy
May my husband be peaceful
May my husband be free
May whoever reads this post be happy
May whoever reads this post be healthy
May whoever reads this post be peaceful
May whoever reads this post be free
May All be happy
May All be healthy
May all be peaceful
May all be free.......
:-) With Love.......Have a great day today!
Friday, 14 May 2010
Dont complain: Just Leave, Change or Accept
Today morning I was feeling grumpy, irritated, and angry even about a situation in my personal life. My mind chatter was going along the lines of : 'Oh how long can I put up with this, so and so did this again, oh I cant take it any more, etc.. (I was mentally complaining about a certain other person and conjuring the stories of complaint that I could tell others about this person.
Then as I often do when feeling out of sorts I picked up a book, and today it was once again, Eckhart Tolle's 'Power of Now'. I closed my eyes and asked for intuitive guidance from my source to the problem at hand and I came upon a page where Tolle's advice was that if one is really unhappy with some situation we have only 3 choices: leave the situation, change it, or accept it. But whichever option we choose we need to do it whole heartedly and to whatever extent possible with a positive attitude and without negativity. Complaining achieves non of these...and is a really useless negative state to be in. There was a line which went something like, 'by no means let your inner state remain negative and polluted'. So if the decision is made to leave the situation, then do that with a positive focus on where you want to go, what you want rather than remaining stuck in thinking about what you want to leave behind. If the decision is made to change, then again do that with a positive focus on what new state you want to change it to. If the decision is made to accept the situation, then just accept it totally so that we don't give any resistance to the what is: this we need to do with complete surrender, and then the situation can no longer irritate us.
I was wondering which of the 3 options I should adopt with regard to the current problem and as I thought through each one I realized that I was not ready to leave this particular situation (at least at this point in time). I did not have the ability or know-how to change the situation because it was really about another person's habits. My only option at this point was really to surrender...... and I made this decision and kept reading the book. I came to another line which where Tolle poses the question, "what if anything, is wrong with the present moment"?
This was my moment of shift this morning. As I reflected on this question,and searched my mind for what was wrong, each thought that came up was either a regret about the past or a fear about the future. I really really could not find ANYTHING wrong with the present moment. It was perfect.....! My face burst into a smile and as I soaked in the perfection of the moment, I let my awareness gradually move outward from just me and my experience of this moment to my home, my son, this other person, my work, my schedule for the day etc. and each thing that entered my thought field was now clothed with joy and perfection,.... and a surge of gratitude swept through me. The same conference I had been so stressed about last night now appeared as a wonderful opportunity to have fun, the sense of a parenting burden was now a joyful appreciation of being blessed with a wonderful child, and so forth,... and finally when I thought of this person, whom I had earlier been really irritated with, I could only recollect certain nice qualities about him. Amused and happy, I went out of the bathroom (where I had been reading) to greet my wonderful world and the joyful day that was blessed with opportunities. Needless to say, I had a great day,....and this other person has been an amazing person in my life today as well! What is this magic that descended on my day today? I only have gratitude and appreciation, for the universe, my loving source, the wonderful book by Tolle, all the books and teachers who have motivated me to turn to my source and my intuition, and finally for me...because I chose to look within in that moment of distress and complaining. :-)
Love and Hugs!
Then as I often do when feeling out of sorts I picked up a book, and today it was once again, Eckhart Tolle's 'Power of Now'. I closed my eyes and asked for intuitive guidance from my source to the problem at hand and I came upon a page where Tolle's advice was that if one is really unhappy with some situation we have only 3 choices: leave the situation, change it, or accept it. But whichever option we choose we need to do it whole heartedly and to whatever extent possible with a positive attitude and without negativity. Complaining achieves non of these...and is a really useless negative state to be in. There was a line which went something like, 'by no means let your inner state remain negative and polluted'. So if the decision is made to leave the situation, then do that with a positive focus on where you want to go, what you want rather than remaining stuck in thinking about what you want to leave behind. If the decision is made to change, then again do that with a positive focus on what new state you want to change it to. If the decision is made to accept the situation, then just accept it totally so that we don't give any resistance to the what is: this we need to do with complete surrender, and then the situation can no longer irritate us.
I was wondering which of the 3 options I should adopt with regard to the current problem and as I thought through each one I realized that I was not ready to leave this particular situation (at least at this point in time). I did not have the ability or know-how to change the situation because it was really about another person's habits. My only option at this point was really to surrender...... and I made this decision and kept reading the book. I came to another line which where Tolle poses the question, "what if anything, is wrong with the present moment"?
This was my moment of shift this morning. As I reflected on this question,and searched my mind for what was wrong, each thought that came up was either a regret about the past or a fear about the future. I really really could not find ANYTHING wrong with the present moment. It was perfect.....! My face burst into a smile and as I soaked in the perfection of the moment, I let my awareness gradually move outward from just me and my experience of this moment to my home, my son, this other person, my work, my schedule for the day etc. and each thing that entered my thought field was now clothed with joy and perfection,.... and a surge of gratitude swept through me. The same conference I had been so stressed about last night now appeared as a wonderful opportunity to have fun, the sense of a parenting burden was now a joyful appreciation of being blessed with a wonderful child, and so forth,... and finally when I thought of this person, whom I had earlier been really irritated with, I could only recollect certain nice qualities about him. Amused and happy, I went out of the bathroom (where I had been reading) to greet my wonderful world and the joyful day that was blessed with opportunities. Needless to say, I had a great day,....and this other person has been an amazing person in my life today as well! What is this magic that descended on my day today? I only have gratitude and appreciation, for the universe, my loving source, the wonderful book by Tolle, all the books and teachers who have motivated me to turn to my source and my intuition, and finally for me...because I chose to look within in that moment of distress and complaining. :-)
Love and Hugs!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)